What does Multiple Sclerosis Feel Like?

Painful Heavy Legs: Apply tightly 20 pound ankle weights and 15 pound thigh weights then take a 1 mile walk, clean the house, go shopping and then sit down - how are you feeling now?

Painful Feet: Put equal or unequal amounts of small pebbles in each shoe then take a walk.

Loss of Feeling in Hands and/or Arms: Put on extra thick gloves and a heavy coat then try and pick up a pencil. If successful, stab yourself in the arm.

Loss of Feeling in Feet and/or Legs: Ask a doctor for a shot of novocaine in both of your legs then try and stand up and walk.

TN (Trigeminal Neuralgia): Take an ice pick and jam it into your ear or cheek whenever the wind blows on it or a stray hair touches it. If you want something easier to do, get someone to punch you in the jaw - preferably daily.

Uncontrollable Itching:  Glue or sew small steel wool pads to the inside of your shirt, pants and undergarments then wear them for an entire day.

Tingling: Stick your finger in an electrical socket - preferably wet.

Tight Banded Feeling: Put 12 inch wide belt around you, make is as tight as you can, and leave it there for the entire day.

Shots: Fill one of our spare needles with saline solution, and give yourself a shot every time we do our shot.

Side Effects From the Shot: Bang your head against a wall, wrap yourself in a heating pad, wrap your entire body with an ace bandage tightly then finally treat yourself to some spoiled food or drink.

Trouble Lifting Arms: Apply 20 pound wrist weights and try and reach for something on the highest shelf in your house.

Spasticity: Hook bungee cords to your rear belt loops, rear pant leg cuffs, shirt collar, and cuffs on shirt sleeves then go dancing.

Poor Hearing/Buzzing in Ears: Put a bee in each ear then put a plug in each one...bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Balance and Walking Problems: Drink 100 proof grain alcohol then sit and spin in an office chair for 30 minutes. Now, try to walk.

Urgently Needing to Pee: We put a .5 liter remote controlled water bag and drip tube in your pants, we point out 2 restrooms in a crowded mall then we tell you that you have 30 seconds before we activate the water bag (by remote control) to get to a restroom. Just for spite, we may make that 20 seconds without telling you.

Bizarre and Inexplicable Sensations: Place tiny spiders on your legs or arms, and allow them to periodically crawl around throughout the day.

Pins and Needles:  Stab yourself repeatedly with needles all over your body or better yet....get a large tattoo.

Dizziness (Vertigo): Get on a gently rocking boat all day and night, and take several walks around the deck.

Fatigue: Stay awake for two full days to induce incredible fatigue then cook dinner, clean the house, walk the dog, and see how you feel.

Burning Feeling: Make a full pot of boiling water and then have someone fill a squirt gun with the boiling water and shoot it at yourself all day long. However, you can give us the pleasure of shooting you instead...optional of course.

Intention Tremor: Hook your body to some type of vibrating machine and try to move your legs and arms.....hmmm are you feeling a little shaky?

Buzzing Feeling When Bending Our Heads to Our Chest (L'Hermitte's): Place an electrical wire on your back and run it all the way down to your feet, then pour water on it, and plug it in.

Vision Problems (Optic Neuritis): Smear vaseline on glasses then wear them to read the newspaper.

Memory Issues: Have someone make a list of items to shop for, and when you come back that person adds two things to the list then they ask why you didn't get them. When you come back from shopping again, they take the list and erase three things and ask why you bought those things.

Foot Drop: Wear one swim fin, and take about a 1/2 mile walk.

Depression: Take a trip to the animal shelter everyday, and see all the lonely animals with no home. You get attached to one of the animals, and when you come back the next day, you come in while they are putting her/him asleep.

Fear: Dream that you have lost complete feeling in your feet and when you wake up wiggling your feet, just so happens they don't move. Think about this every night wondering whether something on your body won't work the next day.

Swallowing: Try swallowing the hottest chili pepper you can find.

Heat Intolerance or Feeling Hot When it's Really Not: You are on a nice vacation to Alaska. It's 35° outside and 65° inside. Light a fire for the fireplace and then get into it. Once you have reached about 110° tell me how you feel, even a person without MS would feel bad, now add all of the above symptoms - welcome to our world.

And Finally: After subjecting yourself to the items above, let everyone tell you that you are just under a lot of stress, it's all in your head and that some exercise and counseling is the answer.