Countless times, I have heard that nothing worth having comes easy. Though this is vitally true in every single aspect of our lives, there have been numerous times - especially over the last two years - that this has become hard to hear.
I have been exhausted.
I have been broken.
You see, in 2009, I decided to start my college journey again. After being incapable of returning back to school due to my health, I finally decided to take a stand and move forward regardless of any limitations that stood in my way. At the end of the day, these "limitations" were ones that I was easily able to overcome with the right amount of dedication, perseverance, and hope.
In 2012. I graduated with honors and earned a bachelor's degree in business administration. Honestly, I could not believe that I was able to accomplish such an amazing goal. I cannot count how many times I managed to yell at myself throughout this specific journey just to stop feeling sorry for myself and set out to do what I knew I could do.
What I KNEW I could do.
After a year break, I decided to go back to school in September 2013 to earn my MBA. I was ecstatic to go back. I had almost become stir crazy because I missed being in school. I missed learning. I missed pushing myself.
So much happened since September 2013...
An engagement. A marriage. Finding out that I was pregnant. Giving birth to our son three and a half months early. A 98 day NICU stay. Learning of my father-in-law's terminal brain tumor. The passing of my father-in-law. Cognitive MS relapse. Short term disability. Long term disability. Being terminated from a job due to doctor's appointments...
Sigh.
I could continue...
In the midst of everything that occurred after my son was born, I was kicked out of school. Not once, but twice, due to repeated miscommunication and the inability for the school to file the correct paper work on time. I could not continue classes after my son was born and was suspended because of a professor's lack of time management to complete his portion of an incomplete request. I went back to school three weeks after Caleb was born with the understanding that I would take a term off (6 weeks) when he came home. The time was taken off, but when I went to re-register for classes, I was informed that I would have to pay for school out of pocket for three terms.
Sigh.
We had just had a baby come home from the NICU. I was on disability. There was no way that $7,500 could be paid at that moment. So, I didn't return back to school until the middle of February 2016 when student loans would become available again.
Now, the old me would have shaken my head and given up. There would have been absolutely no way that I would want to continue on doing what I was doing with so many barriers standing in my way. I'll admit, the new me was hesitant on trying to move forward to finish my degree.
With a new baby at home, going through a cognitive MS relapse, very little sleep, and learning that I, in fact, did not have five of me running around at the same time posed a significant issue with trying to complete anything.
Sigh.
However, I pushed through.
Harder than I ever have before.
Today, August 16, 2016, I have officially completed my MBA with a 4.0!!!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Before going anything further, there is something I feel needs to be addressed:
So, as numerous people have asked, "What on earth are you going to do now that you're out of school? Just stay home with Caleb?"
Oh, the fury!
Yes, I will continue to be home with Caleb, raising him to be a happy, healthy little boy. Educating him and preparing him for the world. This, in and of itself, is a full time job - more than a full time job, actually. There are no vacation days. No breaks. I do not have the ability to leave the office at the end of the day and leave work at work. We don't have a nanny to care for Caleb - why would we want another person raising him? It's a 24/7/365 job that I would not give up for anything in the world. It's the best job I've ever had, actually. Caleb is the best boss I've ever had, as well. For those who do not understand what it means to be a stay-at-home mom, try to respect and appreciate the ones who are. Do not undermine them because they are not going into an office to work. Do not look at a stay-at-home mom as one who gets to do nothing during the day and get away with it or someone who is uneducated. Yes, I'm a stay-at-home mom with an advanced degree. This was not what I had originally planned to do after college, but quite frankly, it's not my decision or plan in the first place. I am where I am and am doing what God intends for me to do.
Rant over.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Additionally, I'm currently waiting to hear back from a university to be an online professor and will be working on my MS-related book. Finally, in a year, I will be going back to school to earn my doctorate in business administration.
Wow.
Yesterday, I found a list of goals I had written down for myself to achieve over a lifetime. I think I wrote the list when I was 17 or 18. However, I was shocked to see that most of them had already been achieved.
I am so proud of who I have become.
I am so proud of the goals I have accomplished.
I am proud that my husband can say, "Yes! That's my wife, and look what she just accomplished!"
I am so proud that I can look my son in the eyes, and tell him that he can do absolutely anything he wants to as long as he works hard and never gives up.
I am so proud to know that I have completed something I was told never needed to be accomplished.
I am so proud that I never listened to those who told me that it was okay to give up.
I hope, now more than ever, that the little boy napping in the nursery
down the hall will be as proud of me as I am of him. It is because of
his beautiful soul and tremendous fight that I continued to push myself.
With all of this, I beg you:
Make goals for yourself. Go out on a limb to create goals that may seem out of reach at the time. Do not let anyone tell you that you cannot achieve anything. Do not let anyone tell you - this includes yourself - that it is okay to give up. Yes, there may be tears and there may be times of anger, but I can assure you that when you come out on the other side, you will look back in complete awe that you accomplished what was meant to tear you apart. Be proud of yourself, and never, ever give up on your dreams and goals. Nothing worth having ever comes easy, but never settle for an easy route because you are worth the fight.
